“Let Them” and How Hypnotherapy Can Help

You may have seen the phrase floating around on social media: “Let them.” A simple idea that’s taken hold in recent years, particularly since American author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins started using it in her videos and talks.

The “Let Them” theory is, at its core, about release. If someone doesn't invite you, doesn't support you, doesn't choose you—let them. It’s not about approval, control, or trying to fix things. It’s about acceptance. Let them be who they are, so you can be who you are.

The core message behind “Let Them” has existed in various forms for decades, if not centuries, through psychology, Buddhism, Stoicism, and more. There’s been some justified criticism online about her taking credit for a concept that’s long been shared by others, in particular a poem by Cassie Phillips. It’s important we don’t erase those wider influences and voices—especially those from less privileged or mainstream platforms.

That said, Robbins helped the idea reach new audiences in a digestible, relatable way. And for many people, this has been a useful tool for managing anxiety, stress, and relationships. That’s worth exploring—especially in the context of hypnotherapy.

Many of us spend our lives trying to control how others see us, treat us, or act around us. We edit ourselves to avoid disapproval. We hold on tightly to situations and people, even when they cause us stress or pain. And when things don’t go our way, we ruminate. Why didn’t they call back? Why wasn’t I invited? Why did they treat me like that?

“Let Them” is a mental shift away from this exhausting pattern. Instead of gripping tighter, you let go.

• Let them think what they want.

• Let them choose someone else.

• Let them make different decisions.

Your worth doesn’t depend on someone else’s behaviour. That’s the heart of it. But here’s the problem: letting go isn’t easy. Intellectually, we might understand it. Emotionally, though, we hold on. That’s where hypnotherapy can come in.

Hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind—the part of us that holds onto old patterns, habits, fears and beliefs, often without us even realising. While our conscious mind might say, “It’s fine, I don’t care what they think,” the unconscious might still be running a loop of anxiety or a need for validation.

This is why willpower alone often doesn’t work. We tell ourselves to stop worrying, to move on, to think positively. But the unconscious mind still clings to the belief that being accepted means being safe or that being rejected means something is wrong with us.

Through hypnosis, we bypass the critical conscious mind and speak directly to the part of us that needs reassurance, healing, and reprogramming. In a relaxed state, clients can explore and release these deeper beliefs. We can reinforce a sense of internal stability, safety, and self-worth—independent of others’ actions.

In short, hypnotherapy can help us feel what the “Let Them” theory tells us to think.

Let’s take a few examples. A client might come in because they feel anxious in social situations. They overthink texts, worry about saying the wrong thing, or constantly replay conversations in their head.

Consciously, they understand that people are busy or that not every conversation has to go perfectly. But their nervous system doesn’t believe it.

Using hypnotherapy, we might explore the root of that fear—perhaps a past experience of rejection, or a learned belief that they have to work hard to be liked. We can then reframe those patterns, replacing them with a more grounded sense of self.

In another case, someone might struggle with a breakup or family fallout. They keep asking themselves what they could have done differently, feeling rejected and responsible. Here, hypnosis can help them connect with the part of themselves that seeks closure and validation—and gently help them let go, not only of the situation, but of the self-blame that comes with it.

The “Let Them” principle becomes not just a mantra, but a felt experience. They begin to realise, at a deep level: I am not responsible for other people’s choices. I can let them go—and still be whole.

It’s easy to dismiss “Let Them” as just another social media trend. And yes, we should be cautious of pop-psychology soundbites that oversimplify complex emotional realities. Real healing takes more than a slogan.

But beneath the surface, there’s a valuable truth: we suffer when we grip too tightly to what we can’t control. And we heal when we learn to release that grip—not just intellectually, but emotionally and physically.

Hypnotherapy offers one of the most effective tools for making that shift. It allows us to move from thinking “I should let go,” to truly feeling free.

Whether or not you credit Mel Robbins with the origin of the idea, the message behind “Let Them” is powerful. Let people be who they are. Let events unfold. Let go of trying to manage everything.

But if you find yourself struggling to do that—if your thoughts keep circling back, if you feel anxious or stuck—know that you’re not alone. It’s not a flaw. It’s your subconscious doing its job.

And that’s where hypnotherapy can help. It’s not about switching off your emotions—it’s about helping your unconscious mind feel safe enough to let go. So you can move forward with calm, confidence, and clarity.

Interested in learning more? Get in touch to book a free consultation and find out how hypnotherapy could support you in letting go—and moving on.